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One Way to Keep Warm This Winter

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By Albert Khoury

Dear Singles Scene,

I have been seeing this girl for a few weeks, and things are good. We have a great time together and have many common interests.

The problem is that I think she’s more into me than I am her. I like to take things slow and let everything happen naturally, but she seems to want to move things along.

She’s developing strong feelings for me, and I don’t feel the same way. Given time, it could happen, but I don’t want to feel pressured. I don’t want to break up, but I also don’t want to see her hurt. What can I do?

Sincerely,
Unbalanced Relationship

Dear Unbalanced,

You’re right about one thing—everyone moves at their own speed. It’s rare that two people who recently met feel exactly the same way for each other at the same time. One will almost always progress faster than the other. That being said, don’t keep your thoughts on the situation to yourself. Tell her exactly what you told Single Scene—that you like to take things slow and see what happens.

She may not be happy about the news, but the alternative is to wait until things are more serious when it can really hurt. Get it out of the way now and see if she still wants to stick around. Honesty is the best policy, after all.

Dear Singles Scene,

I met a girl on an online dating site, and we’ve been on four dates. Each one seemed to go better than the one before it. Until we reached the last one. I was going through some personal issues in my life, and I was distant. She noticed and asked what was wrong. I told her I was fine, but I wasn’t. The rest of the night wasn’t so great.

After that last date, I needed time to take care of things. We didn’t talk much, and it’s been a couple of months and things are much better now in my personal life.

I want to see her again, but I feel weird reaching out after so much time has passed. Should I just let it go as a lost opportunity, or should I try again?

Sincerely,
Undecided

Dear Undecided,

We all go through bad times in life, and while it helps to discuss it with close friends and family, we’re not under any obligation to discuss it with anyone.

Don’t feel bad that you didn’t tell her about your situation. But perhaps you could have sent a message now and then to let her know you were still thinking about her. But don’t worry! It’s not too late.

Start small. Send her a friendly text message. Ask her how she’s been doing. If it goes well, steer the conversation towards having another meetup. You don’t need to give a long story about why you disappeared.

The goal is to pick up where you left off. If she asks what happened, tell her you’d rather not talk about it yet. If you get close, you can choose to talk about it down the line. But don’t make it a priority. Just get back into each other’s lives and see where it takes you.

McCormick Recipes