Friendsgiving: When You Can’t Make it Home

Home. A word that means different things to different people. For military families, the word “home” often refers to a feeling rather than the physical structure. While this feeling is created out of necessity, especially during the holiday season, it can be the catalyst for coming up with ways to weave old and new traditions into the celebration. It often becomes a cherished tradition, forming bonds between comrades, neighbors, and newfound friends. Family recently spoke to Jen Ferrel and Kirst Navaroli, creators of Wives of the Armed Forces – “A community of women doing our best to thrive in this military wife life.” Jen’s spouse is a major in the Air Force at Joint Base Elmendorf–Richardson. They have two children – Ava (3) and Maisie (1). Kirst’s husband is a major in the Air Force at Joint Base Andrews. They have two children – Carmen (4) and Gaetano (2).

How do you celebrate Friendsgiving?
Both of us view celebrating “Friendsgiving” as an opportunity to do something we truly love – hosting. So, when the opportunity arises, we gladly welcome it! Plus, being alone during the holidays is not something either of us enjoys experiencing. And before we had children, we would proactively reach out to any friends to see what they would be doing for Thanksgiving. Sometimes, our friend’s spouse might be home, and even if ours were gone, we wouldn’t let that stop us from celebrating with them. But because we gain so much joy from hosting, we would still be the ones to host “Friendsgiving.” We both receive so much joy being the place where our community can come together during times that are challenging – such as when a spouse is gone during the holidays. We do our best to make the most of a situation that often feels out of our control.

How would you suggest someone start a Friendsgiving tradition?
Generally, you want to start talking to your friends about what their plans are for the holiday. If you’re in the same unit, you’ll know who is home and who is not. However, since having friends outside of the unit is common, it’s important to be proactive in that communication. Choose a time and even a theme, if you’d like, and invite as many people as you’d like. Besides spending the day with your friends, the great thing is that you can invite others to make a dish that is traditionally on their Thanksgiving table. Not only does this give everyone the opportunity to try something new, but it also eases the burden of doing all of the cooking yourself.

What’s your favorite thing about Friendsgiving?
We are both very grateful for any opportunity to deepen our bonds with friends, new and old. Regardless of our current assignment, we know we can help create memories by sharing Friendsgiving with friends who often turn into family.