Parenting Children with Special Needs (EFMP)

Raising a child with special needs requires extraordinary resilience, understanding, and an endless reservoir of love. It is a journey filled with unique challenges but also rewarding triumphs. Thankfully, the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) is a lifeline for military families. This program acknowledges these families’ unique challenges and provides crucial support to ensure they are not walking this path alone.

Family spoke with two military spouses about their experience as parents of children with special needs. Both spouses are stationed at Norfolk Naval Station and have an organization called Partners in PROMISE (Protecting the Rights of Military Children in Special Education). Mary Monrose is the spouse of naval officer (O1E) TaQuawn Monrose, and Michelle Norman is the spouse of naval officer (O6) Cassidy Norman.

Can you share your journey as a military spouse parenting a child with special needs?

Mary: My son was diagnosed with ADHD at age five. Initially, my husband and I were not receptive to accepting that diagnosis, especially having to medicate our child. We sought advice and had many hard, uncomfortable conversations. We decided to move forward for the sake of our son being able to focus in the classroom. Over the years, we have watched our son improve and thrive tremendously. We allowed him to decide to stop taking Adderall when entering high school. We are proud to say that he will graduate in May, maintaining a 3.5 GPA on top of being an athlete.

Michelle: My special needs journey began as a first-time mother over 20 years ago. After years of trying to start a family, we were thrilled to be expecting a baby. Our lives changed forever when my daughter was born early, at 27 weeks, weighing just over two pounds. She was a fighter, and after spending her first eight months of life in the hospital, we finally came home as a family. We had no idea what to expect as we were balancing a busy military life of workups and deployments but also learning about medical diagnoses such as cerebral palsy, tracheostomy, and hearing loss. In her early years, I missed out on various military events and functions as I was busy navigating doctors’ appointments, therapy meetings, and IEP Meetings. We have had to learn how to balance meeting the needs of my daughter and the needs of my spouse’s career while recognizing that my career would change in ways I never imagined. I learned quickly that my role as my daughter’s advocate would not be temporary but that she needed to succeed over the years. That advocacy led to the founding of my nonprofit Partners in PROMISE to better support all military families with children with disabilities.

How has the Exceptional Family Member Program supported you and your family?

Mary: The EFMP has helped to ensure that our family receives the support and resources for our well-being. Our son is a part of the EFMP, not just for the educational side but medical as well, due to his asthma. The EFMP made enrollment easy for us and provided guidance to help us navigate this journey.

Michelle: The Navy EFMP program has been a blessing for us. Due to my daughter’s medical and educational needs, we have been fortunate to be assigned to locations with children’s hospital services available. A few times, we made sacrifices for my spouse to complete his training or take a job necessary for his career. In those cases, we geo-bached in the location we knew had the resources and appropriate school our family needed.