Resolving to Create Better Family Bonds

Every year, individuals set resolutions to improve or strengthen an area of their lives. However, one area that truly deserves attention, especially within the military community, is the fortification of the family bond. The military family bond is unique due to constantly being tested, always facing sacrifices, and always having to be resilient. However, deployments, training exercises, and frequent relocations also cause unpredictability, stretching the family unity fabric. Yet, these unique challenges also bring opportunities for growth and extending those family bonds.
Family spoke with Air Force spouse Katie Crosbie Holland about what having strong family bonds means to her and her family. Holland is married to Major Douglas Holland, and the family is currently stationed at Sheppard AFB. They have two children – Brycelen (7) and Crosbie (4).

What does strengthening the family bond mean to you?
I think strengthening the family bond means anything that brings family members closer together and makes them feel more connected. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate trip or an expensive outing. Some of our favorite memories involve simple, silly things at home, like breaking into a dance-off competition in the living room! This just shows that strengthening the family bond doesn’t have to be an elaborate, serious, or some major event. Sometimes it’s the little, purposeful moments that build on that strength.

What practices are you thinking of putting into place to strengthen this bond?
We have become aware of how much of a distraction technology can be and how much our phones get in the way of connections with others. I am thankful for the ways my phone allows me to connect with family members and friends who are far away, but it is so easy to grab my phone and mindlessly scroll, missing opportunities right in front of me to strengthen our family bond. We’re going to try to implement “no phone” stretches – even if they’re just 10-15 minutes at a time–to try to focus on our kids and each other.
Other than that, we just try to talk to and engage with our children as much as possible. They say the days are long, and the years are short, and we believe it!

Do you think a family resolution is something families should try to help build that family bond?
I think families should do whatever they feel is best for their family dynamics. It can be easy to get distracted by all the hurdles in military life, but the family can jump those hurdles together even if they aren’t physically together. The longer I parent, the more I realize there is no “one size fits all” approach. I certainly don’t claim to have all (or even any!) of the answers! We’re all just trying to figure this out as we go!