Tips for Moving with Young People

Moving with children is a process military families have to strategically navigate. Family spoke with Amanda King-Odom about how her family has found success while moving with young people.

Amanda is married to Kenneth King-Odom Sr., who is a Petty Officer First Class (E6) Culinary Specialist in the U.S Navy, and they are currently stationed at Naval Base Kitsap, Bremerton, WA. They have four children—Kenneth King-Odom Jr. (goes by K.D) age 7, Kaeden King-Odom (goes by K.J) Age 3, Knoxten King-Odom Age 3, and Koa King-Odom 6-months.

How many times have you PCS’d?

Twice. Once from San Antonio, TX to San Diego, CA in 2011. At that time we had K.D age 2 and our two nephews - Damarion and Jalyn, 12 and 13 that moved with us and stayed with us the whole five years in San Diego. Then in 2024, we moved from San Diego, CA to Bremerton, Washington. This time Damarion and Jalyn returned home to Texas. We moved here with our three little ones, and I was pregnant with our fourth.

How did the move go with young people?

The first one was heavily focused on the teens. We had no idea what to expect when we arrived in San Diego. California’s education system had requirements different from what we were used to, causing some delays. We weren’t initially happy with the area we settled in either. When we received new orders to Bremerton, we faced the difficult decision of having our teenagers move back home to live with their grandparents.

What's something you learned that you will implement next time you have to move?

When we moved to Bremerton, we faced an incredibly difficult decision: We had to send our teens back home to live with their grandparents while my husband and I continued our PCS (Permanent Change of Station) process.

If you find yourselves in a situation like ours, where you need to make tough decisions about schooling or where they’ll be living, it’s important to involve them in the discussions. Understanding their preferences and addressing their concerns, especially when it comes to staying with relatives or living in different places, can help them feel heard and less like the decision is out of their control.

In our case, sending the kids to live with family was the best option, but navigating that situation was complex. If you find yourself having to do something similar, ensure there is a solid plan for how they’ll stay connected to you, their friends, and their community. Regular video calls, planned visits, and ensuring they’re still plugged into their support networks are all ways to keep that connection strong. 

The reality of constant moves and deployments can take a toll on your teen’s mental health, especially if they feel uprooted or disconnected. Ensure they have outlets for expression, such as journaling, talking with a counselor, or engaging in activities that help them feel grounded.

What's something someone moving with teens for the first time should know?

Involve your teens in the process. Remember that flexibility and patience are key, especially when navigating unexpected challenges. Moving comes with unique challenges, and moving with teenagers can make the experience even more complicated. Our first move to San Diego was a huge adjustment, and we didn’t know what to expect.

Be prepared for delays and new systems.

Expect unexpected changes in routines.

Acknowledge the emotional impact of constant change.

By considering these factors, you can help mitigate your teens' stress in military life, especially when decisions must be made that could impact them for longer periods of time.