Springing for Love

Dear Singles Scene,

I have been part of the singles scene for most of my life. I’ve had my share of relationships with varying degrees of longevity, but I always end up alone. And everyone around me seems happily paired.

I used to blame everyone else, but now I realize the problem is with me. I have major commitment issues, and I’m always afraid of losing my freedom.

At the same time, I long for steady companionship. What can I do?

Sincerely,
Forever Alone

Dear Alone,

Believe it or not, you are not alone in being alone. You feel that everyone in the world has found that special someone? That is not the case at all.

Even people in seemingly happy relationships may have big problems behind closed doors. You may know people that seem faithful to each other but are not at all.

Relax and take a deep breath. Before searching for the right one, try searching yourself.

What are you worried about? Losing your privacy? Not being able to flirt with other women? If those things are on your mind, you’re not ready for a relationship.

It’s all about compromise and moderation. When you’re with the right person, it’s not so much about giving up your freedom as sharing your time with someone else. And when it’s the right person, you shouldn’t be tempted to wander.

There’s no magical formula, but when you like yourself, others notice and will like you, too. And remember that confidence (not cockiness) is important.

Dear Singles Scene,

I’m single, but I can’t say I’ve ever really felt alone. Let me explain. I have been with many women but few were serious. I rarely spend weekends or holidays alone.

Since most of my “relationships” last just a few months at best, I do consider myself single. What do you think about that?

My friends and family ask when I’m going to settle down. That’s honestly not something I’ve thought much about. I work hard and have quite a few hobbies to keep busy with during my downtime.

Is something wrong with me? Should I be looking for “the one”?

Sincerely,
Free to Be Me

Dear Free,

Playing the field is fine as long as you’re honest with your intentions. In other words, don’t lead anyone on.

There’s nothing wrong with you. If that’s the lifestyle you choose, it shouldn’t matter to anyone else. Don’t feel obligated to explain yourself to others.

There’s no calendar or schedule for when you should settle down, if ever. Again, as long as nobody’s getting hurt, you’re free to be you the way you feel comfortable.

The next time someone asks when you’re going to settle down, ask them a personal question in return. Then they can see that it really isn’t their business.

Just be sure to stay safe and always use protection.