Virtual Dating

Dear Singles Scene,

I was there for the early days of dating apps. It was like the wild west back then with the rules being written as we went along. I never had much of a problem meeting girls, and I lost count of how many dates I went on.

I am recently single, so I decided to hop back on the horse and join a dating app. While things have changed, it’s the same routine: swipe, send message, like, etc.

Here’s the thing: I barely got any responses from the first app. So, I tried another one, and it’s the same thing. I also noticed a lot of the profiles don’t seem legitimate.

I’m willing to adapt to the changes, but I’m not sure how. What am I doing wrong? What can I do better? Please help!

Sincerely,

The Lone Ranger

Dear Ranger,

People’s expectations have gone up when it comes to dating apps. The dating market is flooded with promises of meeting the love of your life (or at least getting a few dates). There are so many people and platforms to choose from, and girls, in particular, must be pickier about who they respond to.

As a man, you will likely not experience waking up to an inbox with hundreds of messages, but you may be lucky enough to get some messages. Some are sweet, some not so sweet, some are scams, and some are legitimate. It is a motley mix of potential suitors and the fairer sex cannot possibly respond to all of them.

You need to make yourself stand out. Mix it up. Sure, you can take a couple of pics of yourself when you look particularly sharp and throw a pic of yourself as a kid for the cute factor.

Beyond that, include photos of yourself doing things you enjoy. Athletic endeavors and travel pics are solid choices. If you have a pet, include them as well—you will be surprised how many messages you get about your dog or cat that expand into conversations about the best coffee spots.

Be thoughtful when writing your messages. “Hey what’s up?” just won’t cut it. Read her pro  le and pick out what you like. Ask questions about what she chose to include. Make her feel you’re interested in her and not just idly swiping through profiles.

Dear Singles Scene,

I have been seeing a girl virtually for a few months. We met on a matchmaker site and instantly clicked. We’ve had many video calls, and I feel good vibes from her. We’re planning to meet next month.

It didn’t hit me until we started looking at flights that this is real. I have been considering myself pretty much single since I haven’t actually met her yet. I am ready to take the next step, but I’ve never done anything like this before.

I was fine until we started making plans to meet in person. Now I’m a nervous wreck. Is something wrong with me? Am I making a mistake?

Sincerely,

Long Distance Situationship

Dear Distance,

Long distance relationships, or LDRs, have become more common thanks to dating apps, matchmaking sites, and social media. The term means something different to everyone, however.

Some couples date from afar for years before they can meet. Others keep in touch on and off and never actually see each other. There’s no right or wrong way to go about it, as long as you’re both clear on what’s happening.

Have you told the girl how you are feeling? If not, the sooner you tell her, the better. You may find out that she is also having cold feet. Talk it out and see if this is the right time to meet. Maybe there will never be a right time and this entire thing has mostly revolved around the novelty of an LDR.

As with any relationship, near or far, communication is key. On your next virtual date, get through the pleasantries and have a serious talk about expectations, plans, and consequences of an in-person meeting. Whatever the outcome, it sure beats worrying about something that has not even happened yet!