Wintertime Blues

Dear Singles Scene,

I’m in my 40s and still single. It’s really getting to me. I look around and all my
friends have settled down in some way with wives and fiances or at least a partner
of some sort.

I’ve had my fair share of girlfriends, but nothing ever lasted more than a few years. I keep waiting for the right one to come along but perhaps that time has passed? Or even worse, I might have had her and lost her without realizing it.

I feel the problem is with me. Either I’m doing something wrong, or I’m not meant to be with someone. Should I fight it or just accept my situation?

Sincerely,
Last Man Standing

Dear Last Man,

The first thing you should realize is that there are no rules or schedules here. You can find love in your 20s or your 60s. Of course, we all would prefer it to happen sooner rather than later but don’t think of it as a ticking time bomb.

Everyone has their own experiences and way of doing things. Some people feel the pressure of time and rush into a relationship as soon as they feel their age creeping up on them. Others marry their high school sweethearts as soon as they graduate.

What you do is based entirely on your thoughts and actions, and you shouldn’t measure yourself against others. Nobody is meant to be alone; although, some choose to be and are just fine.

That being said, if you are looking to get serious, start thinking about what you want, but remember that nobody is perfect and nobody will ever be everything you want them to be. Go on some dates to get a feel for it and don’t be afraid to express what you’re looking for.

But keep this in mind: It’s ok to be single.

Dear Singles Scene,

I’ve been talking to this girl I met on a dating app, and we’ve exchanged numbers and have had chats and video calls well into the night.

She’s great in every way. Smart, beautiful, accomplished. The only problem is that she lives on the other side of the country. We’ve been discussing a meetup, but it’s quite a ways to go.

Flying isn’t cheap and neither are hotels. I trust this girl, but I don’t know if I’m making the right decision going out there. Is my hesitation justified or should I just go for it?

Sincerely,
Flight Risk

Dear Flight,

It’s not uncommon to meet people online nowadays, especially through dating apps. And the great thing is that you can date outside your comfort (and physical) zone. It can be quite the exciting adventure!

With that in mind, be careful. There are people who prey on victims via dating apps. Seems like you’ve already heard and even seen this girl, and that’s good.

Still, don’t share any more personal information than you have to. Keep your flight and hotel details to yourself and plan to meet in a public spot like a restaurant or bar. The first meeting should be brief and mostly a way to feel the other person out. A weekend would be perfect.

If things go well, you can plan a second rendezvous once trust is established. Perhaps she could come visit you. Just keep your enthusiasm in check for that first trip and make sure you have a return flight!