The military community is no stranger to having to meet new people and make new friends. While adults may be able to navigate the waters of making new friends, children really find this to be challenging. However, the military family is one of great adaptability and knows how to be resourceful. In time, those adult friendships can also bring friendships for children. This can help children to embrace the next move with less apprehension when they learn how to make friends in unfamiliar places. 

Family spoke with Navy spouse, Julia Priftis, who is married to Lieutenant Nick Priftis, and they are currently stationed in Naples, Italy but live in Northern Germany. They have two children – Nicky (5) and Elena (18 months). 

How many times have you and your family relocated?

I've moved three times with my oldest — across two states and even the Atlantic Ocean for an OCONUS move. My youngest hasn’t moved yet, but that’s about to change this PCS season.

What are some ways you encourage your children to make friends in new places?

My oldest has been in daycare since he was three months old—he’s my little social butterfly. In the U.S., there were always activities for young kids, but here in Germany, getting into sports or programs has been tough with long waitlists and a “who you know” vibe. He’s in a local school now, which has been great, and he already knew German, but the cultural shift has been challenging. I’ve had really to put myself out there to help him make friends. We talk a lot about being inclusive, taking the lead, and not waiting for others to reach out.

My five-year-old is the definition of a military child—flexible, hardworking, and resilient. I’ll never forget being six months pregnant, my husband was underway, and it was just me and my son in Germany, where no one spoke English, handling the movers. He stood beside me with his little “checklist,” making sure every box was there, confidently telling the movers where things should go. Watching him speak up and take charge blew me away—I don’t think I found that kind of voice until my 20s.

When do you start talking to your children about making new friends at the new place you're moving to?

As soon as we know we’re moving, I start the conversation with my son. I believe in giving them as much age-appropriate info as possible. For our upcoming move, I’ve been proactive about finding activities for my oldest, giving him a way to meet people and feel stable. With him starting kindergarten and another move coming a year later, I’ve focused on getting him involved now. My hope is that wherever we go, we can find the same or similar activities to give him some consistency. 

I always remind my son that sometimes we click with people, and sometimes we don’t—and that’s okay. It’s normal to miss old friends, but it’s also exciting to make new ones. As a military family, we’re lucky to have friends all over. I’ve set up quick video chats or “play dates” with his old friends, even if it’s just 5–10 minutes. It helps him feel remembered and loved, which has really boosted his confidence to meet new kids and build new friendships.