Pet Etiquette: Teaching Kids to Respect Pet Boundaries

They’re a picture-perfect pairing: babies and puppies curled up together or giggling kids kissing kittens. But to keep that portrait from being marred by bad memories, it’s important that children are taught about the concept of pet autonomy as early as possible.

Recognizing Cues and Setting Ground Rules

Before children can learn to respect pet boundaries, parents must first become experts at recognizing their pet’s behaviors and cues such as knowing when they are anxious or feeling happy and playful. Accurately reading your pet’s body language will help you better understand their needs and keep everyone safe.

It goes without saying that parents should always supervise younger children when interacting with pets and establish ground rules before allowing kids and pets to interact. Though, the word “No!” is used a lot, it’s the best way to ultimately have positive interactions between pets and children.

Basic Rules for Kid and Pet Play

• Don’t touch the pet while it’s eating.
• Don’t wake a sleeping pet.
• No, hitting, poking or prodding of the pet.
• No riding on the pet.
• No tugging or pulling ears or tails.
• Don’t pick up the pet, and no carrying it around.
• Don’t give the pet food, including treats, without parental permission.
• If a pet is in their safe space, leave them be.
• No screeching or yelling at or near the pet.
• Don’t corner or trap the pet.

As you learn to live together, you can add to this list to match your pet’s individual preferences such as certain body parts they might not like being touched or those they do.

Involving Children in Daily Pet Care and Play

Make children take part in the pet care process because it will give them a better idea of all the required responsibilities. For example, demonstrate the feeding and grooming processes, allowing the children to take part as much as they are safely capable.

Playtime will be great for bonding and healthy activities for the whole family to participate in together. Have dedicated playtimes for a game of fetch or teaser toy with a cat. Let your child pick out toys for the pet that they can enjoy together and have your child put the toys away when playtime is over.

Respecting Boundaries and Managing Distressing Behavior

One rule of thumb of respecting boundaries is to let the pet come to the child instead of the other way around. Have the child sit and call the pet to come over and then pet it gently. Show the child where the pet can and cannot be touched. If the pet refuses to visit, try again at another time. Keep the interactions short, so the pets don’t get agitated. And don’t allow the child to follow pets when they leave.

Teach your child what to do if the pet’s behavior does become distressing (such as a dog jumping on them). One simple rule is to act like a tree and stay still, hoping the pet calms down because if the child runs, the pet might run after and the situation could intensify.

While it’s inevitable that there might be a few nips or scratches over the years of living together, if children respect and love their pets as family members, they can both benefit from a lasting friendship based on respect and understanding of boundaries.